How successful has your dating been?

Is it a long stream of one date after another and you wonder if you’ll ever meet someone special? Does it seem like all the good ones are taken? If you’re tired of the same thing and you’re ready to put some spelled check boxes on your checklist, you might be ready to meet someone special. Start by changing your mindset. Consider these questions:

Who are you outside of a relationship?

People change when they are in a relationship, but part of the problem is that once you’re in a relationship you sort of forget about those qualities that made you fun and interesting in the first place. If you’ve been dating for a while and you don’t feel fulfilled, maybe it’s time to step back from the relationship and look at who you are. Ask yourself if you are really a relationship material kind of girl.

If you don’t think you are, then start having a conversation with him about why and how he thinks you won’t be a good match and see if you can find the right path. If you’re not ready for the next step, just getting involved in a relationship, don’t start one. Do you do things that make you wish you weren’t doing them anymore?

If you have grown out of the fashion that you loved to wear in the first few meetings of a relationship, then have a full blown conversation with him about it. It might sound like a job for him, but he will love you to finally have come to some conclusion about why you are the way you are and then he might be pleasantly surprised and happy to know that it is for you.

Are you ignorant of who he really is?

Not that you can’t teach others about your previous relationship but that doesn’t mean that you really understand him either. Perhaps you’ve only been in short term relationships and have not been able to really comprehend the whole scope of who your new significant other is and what makes him click within your heart. Do your best to get to know the real him. Get him to open up. Don’t judge him until you know him intimately. Start by becoming good friends and before you know it, things will be easier.

Can you see yourself without him?

Do you want to be with him and do you want him to be with you and vice versa? Relationships nearly always end when you both have assumed the relationship. Remember first the excuses (I just don’t have time now, I want to enjoy my life now, all my friends are all doing it, life doesn’t have a time limit, I’m having too much fun, it never works out at the end of the day..maybe I’m just not meant to be…) and then approach this dangerous but really fun juncture.

I can vouch for every one of these excuses but have you tried to reach out and ask him if he truly thinks that you are meant to be? Not all of us go out our dying breaths wanting to spend every waking moment with our partner.

Are you a pair of compatible equals?

If these questions have been answered in the affirmative then you are on the road to relationship bliss. If you are not a very good match mentally, physically, emotionally or spiritually then please consider what you are getting into. It is easy to pretend but it is difficult to make the leap to truly shared parties and plans. If you are in it for the long haul then these steps allow you to move forward gracefully in your partnership.